Don't you want to be someone forever

Sr'dinhe Ruusu | Seraph | PST

I don't know where we're going to
With these eyes on me and these eyes on you
Make-believe there's a point of view
That you'd never lose when they come for you
I don't know what you want from me
What you're looking for, what I'm supposed to be
Maybe I just don't wanna see
What I mean to you, what you mean to me

A lonesome mercenary with insatiable wanderlust and deep secrets hidden behind a facade. Mercenary work is merely a front for his real job; not that he'd ever let a stranger know what it is. Only those who are in the know can inquire about the real operation he's running. The only two other people that run this business with him are Yui, as a fellow assassin, and Dioptase, a barkeep that has been passively blackmailed into bringing them new jobs from time to time.

guidelines & ooc.

ooc info.

My name is Seb! My pronouns are they/he/it, I'm a transmasc nonbinary lesbian, and I'm an artist.
If you'd like to follow my art, all my accts are Satorlrosecat.

contact.

discord. satorlrosecat
TWT/Tumblr. satorlrosecat/drkoflight

one.

I switch between fem & masc model semi-regularly in game, regardless my characters pronouns are always they/he, please respect this! If you slip up and correct yourself, that's entirely fine!

two.

I am open to NSFW RP! But please ask me about it first. My character is a butch lesbian, but they are open, yet extremely selective, to male partners solely for the reason they view sex as a casual and friendly/platonic thing. They have no actual interest in men. Their other self, Esteem has no preference on partners and are open to anything.

three

Sr'dinhe and Esteem are entirely different characters despite sharing the same body; if you are confused who is fronting at the time that is ok! They are not very open about this detail, so that is somewhat intended.

four.

Keep in mind IC and OOC are separated! This is a pretty basic rule, but just putting it here for good measure. How my OC treats your OC is not how I, as a person/writer, would treat you or your OC!

five.

I am open to RP even on the overworld so long as I have my RP tag on! Just Wu/t ♡

six.

I sometimes RP different characters on my main, if you're confused as to why a different name/pronoun is being used, that's why!

seven.

I am open to Wolshipping & Multishipping! I will only ship Dinhe with sapphics/lesbians. I have no preference over a butch or femme partner, both are great! Esteem can ship with anyone!

eight.

If I accidentally cross boundaries or mess up, make you uncomfortable, etc., please let me know in a /tell! I will amend my mistake. Likewise, I won't participate in anything that makes me uncomfortable.

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Lost to the void, all sense of time

Was there no meaning to my life?

The air I breathe is running dry

  name.    Sr'dinhe Ruusu
  age.    ~268
  race.    Rava, Viera
  nameday     Unknown
  guarding deity.     Menphina
  gender.     Transmasc Nonbinary
  pronouns.     they / he
  sexuality.     Lesbian

  height.     7'1" (216 cm)
  hair color.     Pink
  eye color.   Purple
  skin tone.     Tan
  notable features.     Tattoos on his face from the miqo'te tribe he was raised by. Rarely, if ever, seen not wearing an eyepatch over his left eye.

  job occupation.    DRK/RPR/BLM
  place of origin.     Golmore Jungle
  home.    Ishgard & Ul'dah
  affiliation.     Solo mercernary
  family.     Deceased.
  marital status.     Widower

  likes.     tea, roses, moonlight
  dislikes.     the forum, solitude, bitter flavors
  virtues.    justice, empathy, wisdom
  vices.     lust, envy, addiction

personality. Aloof and reserved, Sr'dinhe is not usually one to approach others unless he finds them particularly interesting. If approached by others, he usually won't say no to conversation or tagging along. Usually a person of few words and little interest in other people; spends most of his time in solitude despite hating it. Has a deep fear of falling in love with anyone again, and still misses his first wife. Any sexual company he spends with another person is usually a futile attempt at trying to reach the high from his first marriage again; when somebody expresses romantic interest in him he instinctively distances himself from them.When it comes to friendships, he's accepted that he will likely outlive everyone he meets. He tries to keep friendships very impersonal and surface level, but often still finds himself getting closer than he's comfortable with. As of now he has a few close friends he considers a sort of family.

Don't think I'll last another night

Esteem - Esteem is their other self, physically manifested as their left eye; but can also take on a separate human form. Although similar to Sr'dinhe, they're their own person. Esteem rarely takes control outside of combat. They appear identical to Dinhe, so one would have to be very perceptive to pick up on it.

Lilith - The voidsent bonded to Sr'dinhe, she also lives within the depths of their soul. Like Esteem, she can take on her own physical form or take control of Dinhe's. Lilith prefers to take her own form, even when controlling Dinhe's body. She will change it to her whim.

I can't hear you if you're calling out my name

aether & magic.

aspect of aether - Dark & Light
aether manipulation - More skilled than the average person
magical prowess - Adept in combat magic, hopeless at healing.
Echo - Protected from tempering, and can rarely hear whispers from what they believe to be Hydaelyn. Usually unintelligible.

Much of their use of magic stems from Esteem or their voidsent pact partner, Lilith. Although they are a skilled Black Mage, they've come to prefer the greatsword and the scythe.

physical combat.

special weapons
Cruadin - A gift from their beloved, they don't use it to fight anymore but hold onto it closely
Cronus Lux - Weapon of choice for DRK
Bluefeather Zaghnal - Weapon of choice for RPR
Ignis Malus - Weapon of choice for BLM

Although they have preferred weapons, they have a collection they've maintained over the years. Some weapons are fully retired from combat, whereas they might still use others from time to time.

secondary skills.

Culinarian - Some jobs they take up don't leave them access to inns and the like, so they've learned to cook for themself.
Blacksmith/Armorer - They don't like to rely heavily on others for their own armor and weapon upkeep

Back when their beloved was still around, she took care of their armor and weapons. She was a skilled blacksmith, and forged Cruadin as an anniversary gift for Sr'dinhe. Since losing her, he learned to take care of himself and still uses her old tools.

other skills.

Triple Triad - Avid player and collector of cards. One of very few things they actually do for fun.
Poisons - Adept knowledge in different types of poisons, uses for them, and antidotes.
Perceptive - Has a habit of listening in on conversations that might not be meant for all ears to hear.

strengths.

Dark/Black magic
The void
Heavy armor & heavy weapons

weaknesses.

Healing
Inherently skeptical
Change

STATS	RATING
health	★★★☆☆
strength	★★★★★
tenacity	★★★★☆
stamina	★★★★☆
intelligence	★★★☆☆
dexterity	★★★☆☆
perception	★★★★☆
creativity	★☆☆☆☆
charisma	★★★★★
social skills	★★★☆☆
empathy	★★★★☆
confidence	★★★★☆

I can't see you and I'm feeling just the same

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Got myself a brand new start

and Oh no, I screwed it up again

Guess I'm stayin' up all night

lore : origin

Born year 1311 of the Sixth Astral Era, the circumstances of their birth are entirely unknown and shrouded in mystery. They were found as a young child within the Golmore Jungle by a miqo'te tribe that lived on the outskirts. Abandoned and with nowhere else to go, they were taken in and raised as one of the tribe's very own. It was a lesser tribe made up of formerly vagrant miqo'te that had been kicked from their own homes or left, and as such it was mixed with Seekers and Keepers.Being mixed with Keepers and Seekers, they followed whichever naming convention they favored or mixed them; the leaders of the tribe being a male Seeker and a female Keeper. These leaders are the ones that adopted Sr'dinhe and named him. "Sr" [zhre] was the chosen prefix of the tribe for seekers, with the leopard being their totem animal. Dinhe's birthname was Sr'dinhe Bajhiri, taking his adoptive mother's last name as his own. He later changed his last name to Ruusu, meaning rose, when he left the forest.His home tribe was on good terms with the local viera tribes, and relied on each other for trading and protection. Despite this, none of the local viera tribes had any idea where Dinhe came from or who his birth parents could be.

By the time Dinhe had reached their 100th nameday, they were leaving the forest behind them. Everyone they had known, their parents and childhood friends, had all passed on due to their comparatively short lifespans. Dinhe did not want to watch another generation of his family wither away before his eyes; so with a greatsword in hand, they said their goodbyes.This was when they took up mercenary work, and found themself traveling far and wide. At age 113, year 1424, they found themself crossing paths with Mira Wirasch, age 27, a hrothgar that had likewise left behind her home for adventure. Until now, Dinhe had only made acquaintances in passing and never stayed in one place for very long.The two quickly hit it off and became a mercenary duo. Mira was strong enough to hold her own using her gunblade, but preferred to not fight; instead she maintained both her and Sr'dinhe's weapons and gear, as well as forging new armor and weapons for both of them. What started as a partnership eventually blossomed into love, and the two became inseparable.

Year 1436, Sr'dinhe (age 125) and Mira (age 39) retired from mercenary work and decided to finally tie the knot and settle down. Dinhe had decided to return home to his tribe to introduce his new wife, only to discover that said tribe had been extinct for the past 20 years. They were unable to get answers as to what happened, and heartbroken, neither would ever return to the Golmore Jungle again.They returned to Eorzea to start the next chapter of their life together. They built their own home and settled down on the outskirts of the Twelveswood, not wanting to risk the wrath of the elementals. They stayed distant from society, and lived off the land together.Year 1448, Mira, age 51, develops a sudden illness. Desperate, they leave the home they built together behind and move into Gridania, seeking help. Unfortunately, not even the conjurers, white mages, or padjals had any cure to her ailment. It seemed as if her aether had diminished entirely and her very soul and being was decaying. She passed away not even a full year later. Dinhe buried her at their original home.

Overcome with grief and mania, Dinhe set out to find his own answers to Mira's mysterious illness. He resumed work as a mercenary in hopes of making a greater name for himself, and being granted passage to Old Sharlayan. He became nomadic again, never staying in one place very long unless a job demanded it.It was a chance encounter with a scholar, year 1456, that would bring him to Old Sharlayan. Theikos Vasiliev, a fellow viera hundreds of years his senior, brought him along as a guest to the city. He scoured through as many books as he could, talked with as many scholars and professors as he could, attempting to find even an inkling of an answer, only to be left with nothing once again.Dinhe attempted to speak to the Forum, but to no avail. He surmised that whatever knowledge he was seeking likely resided within the forbidden archives, if the knowledge even existed at all. This was all but confirmed when Theikos personally told him the information he was seeking didn't exist yet, even within Sharlayan's records. With this, he left Old Sharlayan and buried himself in his work once again.

Sr'dinhe continued to work, despite being shrouded in grief. He had no care for his own life anymore, and would throw himself to the whims of fate. If he died on a job, he figured, that's just how it was meant to be.A rift began to form deep within Sr'dinhe, as if his soul was being torn between two people. The gap between himself and the other widened, until the latter made itself known as Esteem to him.Esteem, to assert dominance over Dinhe, subsequently took control of their arms and hands and forced them to eat their own eye. In the empty socket's place, a new eye, the iris red in hue, formed from dark magic.As a show of resistance, Dinhe wears an eyepatch when Esteem is not in control. Esteem is content with this, and usually only cares to be in control when there is a job to be carried out.

A day did eventually come when he would nearly meet his end on the battlefield. Laying in the mud, rain pouring down on him, he tossed aside his greatsword, which had been snapped in half. Closing his eyes, he waited patiently for the end. Whatever beast usually overcame him in battle had been satiated for the first time ever, and the only time it ever would be.Unexpectedly, a figure shrouded in black and red appeared before him, using a scythe to deflect the blow that would have taken his life. The mysterious figure cut down the beast like it was nothing, and turned to Dinhe to offer a deal."Your life, indebted now to me. We shall become partners till the end of time, till one or the other perishes. And trust me, I won't let you die."Its voice was harsh and cold. With no other choice, Dinhe sealed a pact with Lilith.

In my mind, but out of sight

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I'm to blame for this

I hide away until the day is through

Triple Triad - It's very unlikely they'll turn down a round, they are indifferent if there are stakes or not tied to it. We can actually play a match or two, if you prefer to.Mercenary work - What sort of jobs has Sr'dinhe done recently? Is your character also a mercenary and has experiences to share?Eyepatch - Rarely, if ever, seen without it. If they aren't wearing it or have it on the other eye, something might be up...Voidblood - Can your character see other's aether or sense voidsent? Feel free to inquire about the imbalance of dark aether deep within Dinhe's soul.

Assassin work - If your character has somehow become privy to Sr'dinhe's second job, you can inquire about it; be it to hire him or just press him about it. He'll want you to keep quiet, however.Age & lifespan - He's lived a long time, and seen a lot of things; What does your character want to know of the past? Maybe he's experienced it firsthand.Original beloved - He might mention a memory of his beloved in passing at times, usually keeping it vague, is your character curious enough to press him and learn more? No telling if he's in the mood to talk about it in depth, though.

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I will pay for this

But find a way to push the blame on you

Mira Wirasch

Eternal beloved

Sr'dinhe's original lover; he still hasn't gotten over her and misses her touch every hour of the night and every waking moment.

Solana Ruusu

Daughter from another timeline

Sr'dinhe's daughter from the future; Solana is from a timeline where Dinhe is the WoL. She attempted to travel to the past, but ended up in another timeline entirely.

Theikos Vasiliev

Acquaintance from Sharlayan

A member of the Forum; the only Forum member that Sr'dinhe has any trust for.

Yui

Business partner

A business partner in the backend of Sr'dinhe's work. Doubles as a friend with benefits. Yui seems to be a covername, but Dinhe doesn't question her on it.